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“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself"
Harvey Fierstein
You as a woman might identify as lesbian if :
you feel attracted to other women at a more than a sentimental level
you feel a sense of difference from your female friends as if you don't always "fit in"
you feel confused because you're attached to men as well as women (could mean your bisexual too!)
coming out
important : what has been said above is no type of strict rule nor do these feelings apply to everyone. We're all different and this might not be the same for you and that's ok. You have time to understand who you are and there should be no pressure on you to know now
Opening up to your closest relatives or friends can help the process be more tender and less chaotic. You should come out when you consider yourself ready. Always bearing in mind that both positive and negative reactions could occur from it.
first approach
Coming out is ultimately optionally but a way to approach it (if you intend on others knowing) can always be to drop it in casual conversations. Once there's no plan nor preparation behind it you're most likely not to feel panicked or stressed. This could be either while watching TV (and something LGBTQ+ related comes on screen) or simply discussing about genders and sexuality openly.
If you're scared or simply prefer to avoid up-hand conversations, you can always rely on your phone. If you begin to feel you are too scared to confront the situation you can still take the first step by text and then when you are ready follow along with that same conversation in person. Ways to do this can vary and it all depends on the type of relationship you have with that person!
other approach
external sites to get further advice on
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800 (24-hour telephone counselling service for young people aged 5–25)
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 14 (24-hour counselling service)
QLife – a national counselling and referral service for people of diverse sex, genders and sexualities Tel. 1800 184 527 or chat online between 3 pm and 12 am
BEST LESBIAN LITERATURE
You as a man might identify as gay if :
you start questioning how it would be to like men or have any type of further interaction with them (more than sentimental)
you begin to feel pressured on liking women (societal pressure)
you feel confused because you're attached to men as well as women (could mean your bisexual too!)
important : coming to terms with who you are and your sexuality might seem "impossible" at first and cause you to be anxious. Throughout time and years, you'll begin to know more about yourself and understand what you like and what not. But I still wanted to clarify this because we've all been through it and it's ok! It takes time.
helpful source: https://au.reachout.com/
articles/all-about-being-gay
coming out
As a young gay man, I confronted the idea of coming out as a "thing of the future". I had no information or advice from anyone because no one I knew around me was gay. In my case, coming out as bisexual seemed like the safest option, tho I then realized this was just a way to extend "me coming out as gay". What I mean by this is that there's no one strict way to do it, and in some cases, it will take you time to finally be ready for that step.
growing up gay
my story
I think growing up as a gay man can in some cases be a lonely process. This is why I recommend as much expanding your social circle. Meeting new queer people and forming connections is one of the best things that can happen to you.
It wasn't until I was 16 that I first came out to my mom. We were having lunch and for some laughs discussing with my sister which celebrities we found attractive. In my case, that was a time when I felt confident enough to open up and say that I did in fact, fancy men. That's why I believe it's never too early or too late, but rather when you are truly confident and ready!.
For some, having heterosexual friends is more than enough but in other scenarios having by your side a group of people that have gone through the same is the biggest comfort feeling you can have.
BEST GAY LITERATURE
note: these are just some of my favorite gay books. Personally, I believe literature has the power to educate in ways that no other resource has. And in many cases, serve as a support system for many. If you'd like more recommendations please send me an email at pemurciano@gmail.com, I'd be happy to share some more.
BEST GAY FILM
coming out as
bisexual
it's hard for you to label yourself on either one side or another of the spectrum
(gay? bisexual? straight?)
you feel good having deep connections with both genders (either sexual or not)
When coming out you can apply any of the strategies stated over or you can simply do it your own way. It's always ok to say your still discovering what you like and would need some time to know but as of now this is how you feel.
Even though I've already touched down on both being lesbian and being gay I feel like bisexual people are often stigmatized, excluded, or even discriminated against, making it a sexuality that is often not that talked about. Regardless, I wanted to point out some important things that might help you! Being bisexual doesn't necessarily mean you have to be 50% attracted to one gender and 50% to the other. You as a bi man/woman might feel 80% of the time attracted to women and in some cases 20 % to women, or vice versa!
BEST BISEXUAL LITERATURE
You as a person might identify as trans if :
you experience gender dysphoria or euphoria.
the way people refer to you does not feel right (this can be either pronouns or what they expect from you gender wise)
you feel comfortable adopting your non-assigned gender's "social customs" (clothes, speech, manners, etc...)
helpful source: https://www.plannedparenthood
.org/learn/gender-identity/transgender
As mentioned above, many trans and nonbinary people experience gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is distress, unhappiness, and anxiety related to the mismatch between your gender identity and important aspects of your body — such as your genitals, voice, or chest. You also can have gender dysphoria if you’re treated socially as the wrong gender, like when people use the wrong pronouns for you.
Transitioning is taking the steps (social, legal, internal, or physical: medical or non-medical) that will make small changes so that you can live in your true gender identity. These changes can include changing your name or getting gender-affirming medical care, often done to reduce gender dysphoria and/or increase gender euphoria.
coming out
The first step is knowing who to come out to. For each person, this is different as they have different support systems around their life. Normally these include immediate family members (parents, siblings, and children), extended family members, doctors, nurses and other health care staff, classmates, coworkers, partners or people you're dating, your government, and many more. Decide which one you need at the moment and how you'll approach the conversation.
Truly express to that person what you've been genuinely thinking for the past months, years, or even decades. It's always great to approach a situation with knowledge. In this case research. Places such as the HRC, The Trevor Project, Trans Lifeline, and Gender Spectrum provide extensive resources to help understand and convey your gender identity.
Coming out can be scary. But remember; you're are supposed to choose when and how you
BEST TRANS LITERATURE
Books can sometimes be our main source of answers in times of rising questions. The ones included above can offer you with enough education and knowledge to assist you in your journey as a trans person. I personally haven't read them but I've watched countless videos and talks on them!
FAVORITE TRANS INDIVIDUALS
ARCA
Elliot Page
Honey Balenciaga
Hunter Schafer
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